Here’s a story all about how I once stood up for myself and ended up getting smacked in the face by a Twat in a Hat.
3 years ago on the 30th July 2016, I asked a man with a chocolate labrador (which had previously went for my 3 dogs about 4 times) to get a hold of his dog so that I could safely walk past with my 3 dogs and an almost 1 year old Thea in the sling. He did eventually get a hold of his dog but at the same time was chanting the national anthem of Entitled Wanker Dog Owners everywhere….. “it’s ok, she’s friendly…..”
As I got past him I just said “oh yeah, really friendly” (only dripping in sarcasm slightly and rolling my eyes….) and he responded with such venom, you’d think I’d commented on the size of his, *ahem* shoes. I stood there, a 5ft tall woman with 3 dogs and a baby strapped to me, listening to him as he called me a ‘f@cking little bitch’, a ‘stupid c*nt’ and a ‘bloody idiot’. All because I did not agree with him that his dog was friendly (it had previously attacked and pinned Brae and had launching at the others, as well as a neighbours dog). This tirade of little-man-anger lasted about a minute. I’m sure I let my mouth run wild too however I was aware that I had a tiny person with me and eventually told him to take his awful dog and jog on.
After that I saw him a handful of times and each time was the same – verbal abuse and threats, actually getting in my face so that I could smell the gingervitis oozing out of him. In hindsight I should have reported him to the police, however I had no idea who he was and no idea where he lived. Also I didn’t take him very seriously. He was just a short, old coward who seemingly didn’t like women, or at least had an issue with women who spoke back to him. I know, how terrible, I really should’ve just stayed in the kitchen and made some man a sammich!!
I know he was a coward who preyed on lone women because last November I was walking with a male friend and I saw this Twat in a Hat heading for me. My male companion was out of sight picking up dog poop, but when he stood up and stood next to me, the Twat in the Hat quickly turned around and walked the other way!! That told me that he had planned on giving me abuse out on a field with no witnesses (his favourite place to pounce) and when he realised I had been allowed out with a man, he chickened out and walked away. He also behaves if he sees my phone in my hand or if I’ve got my body cam on.
Anyway, lets get to the part where he smacked me in the face. On Tuesday 23rd July 2019, I was out about 9.30am with my 3 and Willow spaniel. Luckily Thea was not with me. I see the Twat in the Hat coming toward me so I think ‘fuck, not this arsehole again’ but it was hot and I just wanted to get past. So I got into the side with my 4 so that I was out of the way. However instead of walking past me with his overweight, struggling labrador, he simply stood in the footpath, blocking my way. I lose my cool a little and just shout “any time today please”. Well apparently that was the trigger he’d been waiting for to start hurling abuse again. I think to myself ‘fuck this for a game of spot the incel’ so I go to walk past him. I let my mouth run a bit about how he’s an idiot or some such insult, so he gets all up in my space, again letting me get a wiff of his stanky breath as he called me a colurful array of names. What I did next was the catalyst to me getting a smack in the face……
I laughed at him. I laughed so hard, right in his face. This small, old man, with his grey beard spattered with his spittal, angrily venting years of gynophobia, man boobs clinging to his grey t-shirt, was just so funny!! This made him even more angry, which made it funnier and funnier, so I laughed more! He turns to walk away and I’m still laughing, calling him a sad wanker or some such insult, which then has him turn around and accuse me of throwing something at him! Now if my sensible brain has been engaged, I would have seen this for what it was…. him looking for an excuse to get violent. He sprays at me that I threw a stick at him (which makes me laugh even more, because had I throw any such item at him, he would’ve had 4 dogs charging after it too) so I just keep laughing.
He then says again that I’ve thrown a stick at him and I say he’s obviously a bit crazy, so he (get this!) picks a handful of grass and throws it at me which has me close to tears with laughter! That’s when the blow came and he hit me. Right hand connected around left side of head, knocking me to the side, sunglasses flying off my head.
I wasn’t laughing any more. My laughing face was replaced with something I can only imagine looked a lot like rage, because he stepped back and lifted his fist again to try and strike a second blow. I almost went for him. However the logical brain (which had apparently been locked in a room somewhere) finally broke out and told me to stop fucking about with this sad, possibly dangerous man. I got my phone out and start filming him, which mainly consists of him calling me a ‘mind boggling liar’, denying verbally abusing me when I was out with a baby and denying his dog had been a twat in the past (and to be fair, she was behaved that day, probably because it was 25 degrees and she’s over weight)
He reckons he knows other people who have ‘had bother with me before’ (which I can only imagine is true, I piss a lot of people off, but more on me ‘pissing off the silver topped guy’ club in part 2) and basically just lied through his tombstone teeth.
Police were called, took a statement, went to talk to him, he denied it and apparently you can get away with assault as long as there’s no witnesses and you deny it. Go figure, Durham constabulary.
Lucky for me he hit like a frustrated toddler, because all I had was a hot ear and a slightly bruised cheekbone, which didn’t start hurting till the next day. I’ve had worse injuries from Thea and her wooden blocks.
Sadly, this kind of incident is on the rise, especially amongst female dog walkers, which I’ll go into that more in detail in part 2 of The Rise of the Entitled Wanker!
Thanks for reading my mini novel and please stay safe out there guys!